Category: Novel Minds Blog

Five Reasons Why We Don’t Get to the Things We Want to Do.

Five Reasons Why We Don’t Get to the Things We Want to Do.

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A few years back, I asked friends to list: “Five reasons why I never get around to doing the things I really want to.”  The answers are priceless, funny, and relatable!

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I would LOVE to have you add your list of five reasons in the comments! Some things will be different now, I imagine. Instagram and pinterest will probably be in some lists!

1. I have ADD (Attentional Delight and Distraction) issues!2. I like to organise and sort all my wonderful ideas, supplies and treasures.
3. My studio gets cluttered with stockpiles of supplies and treasures.
4. Ideas are light and easy to carry around in my head.
5. I keep chasing rainbows……………….

1. I’m working as a technical writer.
2. I’m eating (frikkin inconvenient, when the body demands fuel).
3. I’m sleeping.
4. On Facebook…
5. On Facebook…

1.demanding children
2.easily distracted
3.recent addiction to facebook
6.I cant count properly so time gets lost
11. wow that’s 11 reasons

1. doing other things I really want to
2. dreaming up ways to get to what I really want to
3. on facebook
4. got distracted and forgot what I really wanted to get to
5. what if the idea of my great idea is so great that it’s scary to get to it cuz I might find out it wasn’t that great after all?

1. i clean house instead, because that is easy and how can you go wrong, really?
2. what i really want to do seems too involved and i will have to START somewhere
3. i get lost in finding or needing new materials or equipment
4. etsy snares me and i think, “wow…maybe i should try THAT instead”
5. sometimes i am afraid that the actual piece won’t live up to the idea in my head.

1. Real responsibilities (kids, job, the dishes)
2. Fake responsibilities — you know, those things I take on that really belong to someone else
3. Email
4. Guilt (Aren’t those real and fake responsibilities more important?)5. The stuff all over the table

Seaworthy

Seaworthy

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It’s a pretty great feeling to realize you really are doing what you love.

Writerly Kits  is a subscription box service curated for writers, emerging writers and wanna-be writers. This new venture is up and running and I could not be more delighted by all that it is

ONE:  The vision is for more people to have access to coaching tools and resources to support their goals. Writers who might not otherwise access coaching, (because it is hard for a writer to justify the cost of coaching) will find this accessible, affordable and do-able.

TWO:everything I love to do, and am decent at, gets to go in these lovely boxes.  It’s like an event in a box that let’s others find their best way of getting to what they love – while having fun!

And these are things I love:

  • Theme planning,
  • creating the discovery content from the coaching and Novel Minds process,
  • creating the graphics, the art… and sometimes even the pottery;
  • collaborating with authors I love
  • collaborating with others to include very cool items that support writers;
  • testing coffees that may pass the test and end up in the boxes;
  • stay true to my passion for organic products, less waste, a healthier earth, supporting artisans and companies in line with my values.
  • and then.. THEN… building a community that supports each other!

These are all things that scream “Janet, You LOVE this!”

Writerly Kits is curated especially for writers. Dear to my heart. I know the struggles.  But, what if you are not a writer? I suspect I’ll venture into other areas for other creative folks down the road.

If you are here, following this blog, you know I’m pretty passionate about each of us getting to whatever realm of creativity reveals our magic. More writers writing. More arters arting. More actors acting. More inventers inventing. More philosphers philosophizing.

I love the theme of the first box. It just seems a perfect place to start, given my history!  Actual contents are a secret, because the gift- like quality of a subscription box is half the fun! The theme?

FullSizeR

 

Seaworthy.

Because, guess what? You are not a train going from A to B on the same track every other train is on. You are a writer. You are far more ship-like. Treasures, techniques, cool processes to find your way to chart your course and navigate your writerly life. Fun and Imaginative

And THREE:   Oh my. People are subscribing! The learning curve of finding nice ways to share this new project has been…. well, kind of like climbing a mast. Not much curve, I suppose. Straight up.  I don’t want to play the same old same old rhetoric of sales that is out there in social media. You are too smart for that, anyway. I just want to share what this is and hope people care. And they do care. And I am feeling very happy.

It’s not always easy to do what we love way more often. But this is working for me. I wish for you more of what you love, too.

I invite you to have a peek:  Writerly Kits

I also welcome your feedback!

 

 

 

What is this magic of which I speak?

What is this magic of which I speak?

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What is this magic of which I speak? My wish for you to find your magic? This magic that people mention in testimonials? This word, ‘magic’, that seems to be associated with me and my work, even if I have moments that I’m not so sure it’s a fit?

Okay, it’s a fit. My memoir, Beyond All Imaginings, tells the tale of several years where being in the creative process through tragedy and loss opened the door to a realm of magic that may seem fantastical but is, in fact, true.

Rolling Stones playing on unplugged stereos? Yes. That kind of magic. Enchanted beings sharing their stories? Yes, that, too. Where connecting with family on the otherside becomes a normal? And can be for anyone? Yup. That. Where synchronicities lead to answers in our daily life? Yes.

This post isn’t meant to be about promoting my book but I’m sharing this here because my memoir does tell the story of magic and the creative process.  And it does touch the hearts, and open a little door to magic, of those who read it.
“What an amazing book! Powerful story of tragedy, discovery and rebirth. I laughed and I cried and was so delighted with the magic! JL Whitehead please keep writing books!”

Herein lies my passion for all that I do; my knowing that the creative process – the way that people can access that brilliant part of them – is not simply a way to feel a little better in life. It’s the way, especially those creatively inclined, to open the doors to all that they can be, to find the answers to questions that otherwise can’t be answered. (Logic will never reveal the hugeness of who you are. It lives in the world of ‘fitting in.’)

And once that door is open, it doesn’t just stay open while you are writing, or painting, or potting, or singing, or inventing. The magic of it all becomes a part of your whole life. Synchronicities, insights, aha moments, and a contentment knowing that you are more than what we are traditionally taught we are –   that extraordinary feeling that shifts us, fuels us, helps us find our way through struggles, brings us joy and makes life a way better  and more magical place to be.

That’s the kind of magic I’m talking about.

 

A Collection of Thinking Differently Tricks

A Collection of Thinking Differently Tricks

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What I did when I wasn’t updating this particular post regularly as I had intended:  Sometimes we just have to say, “It’s okay you didn’t get a tip done every day, or week for that matter.” Sometimes we have to notice what we have been doing and suddenly we realize it’s okay that you didn’t get to tips for.. umm… two months. BUT THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN UP TO! Check it out?  Writerly Kits

Never before– This week do something you’ve never done before.  Triple dog dare ya.

New story – Tell a different story about a situation. Make up something wild and funny. Here’s how my dirty kitchen was an opportunity for building imagination and shifting perspectives:  novelminds.ca/the-dirty-kitchen-imagination-and-new-perspectives

New answer – Looking for an answer? If your dearest friend had the same concern or question, what would you tell him/her?

Seriously, do this. Don’t sneak ahead  – A three part, minute or less each, activity for your novel mind!

Part 1: Without thinking too hard about it, name a character you love from a book or a movie.

 

Really, do this before reading on.

 

Part 2: What are the qualities of that character that makes that character one you love?

 

Ditto. do this before reading on.

 

Part 3. Characters you love are mirrors of you. Read what you wrote about why you love that character and notice how much YOU are like that character. Any aha moments about this?
(Head over here to see what happened for others!)

Thinking differently – The Christmas cross-off list. Here’s how to change that list of cleaning, shopping, cooking, and gifting into something way more fun! Leaving more time for the magic of it all. Do tell, what are you going to cross off this Christmas?  Read the technique on our blog HERE

Rethinking Creativity –  What’s the tiniest creative thing you did today? If you think ‘nothing’… think again!

Magical answers –  Think of a question that has been on your mind lately.  Turn to page 87 in the book closest to you.

8 Second Rightness –  In just 8 seconds, you could pause and come up with things that are sooo perfectly right about your life right now. Just 8 seconds to lift your spirit higher.

Thinking differently: The New and Improved Super Momma

Thinking differently: The New and Improved Super Momma

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The new and improved Super Momma says “Whoops, Mommy Brain!“ and laughs out loud.  She knows mommy brain is a mega super conscious quantum tool that is reminding her to ‘do less.’

The new and improved Super Momma looks at her unbalanced dinner, adds slices of apple to each plate and says, “Good enough.”

The new and improved Super Momma has a laundry room with a door, and the clean clothes are in a clean pile most of the time. She might have baskets she and the kids playfully and haphazardly sort the clothes into in a very basketball game-like way. Or not.

If the Super Momma is going to fold clothes, she’ll do it on the couch watching a favourite movie or when someone has come for tea… guests will usually start helping.

The new and improved Super Momma puts ‘Ditto” up in lights on their home that is next door to an extravagant Christmas light display. In Spring, she posts a ditto sign in her one thriving shrub, pointed towards her neighbours fully landscaped, tweezer pruned yard.

The new and improved Super Momma  yells, “Honey I shrunk the kids!” after hiding the kids in a closet, and takes one moment to give her husband a passionate kiss before the evening chaos begins, and calls that ‘relationship connection’ done.

The new and improved Super momma goes to yoga. If she likes yoga.  But sometimes Mommy Brain kicks in and she ends up at a coffee shop instead, sipping lattes and reading a good book. “Sheesh, how did that happen?”  she wonders.

The new and improve Super Momma plays with her kids doing the thing she loves. And if Playmobil and Trucks on the floor are not her thing, she calls that type of play ‘the children’s independent playtime.’

The new and improved Super Momma picks one night a month to do things she wants. She knows Full Moon is a good choice; family be can more easily convinced to support her outing because Full Moon can make people act oddly and they wouldn’t want to mess that. Not only that, if her family happens to be the ones acting oddly during full moon, she gets to escape.

The new and improved Super Momma looks at her kid/s and says out loud, “Dang, you are precious!” even when they are dressed funny, the felt pen won’t wash off, and they’ve been whiny all morning. She notices she just feels good saying it. That, and she loves watching the older kids’ bewilderment when they know they weren’t being all that precious.

The new and improved Super Momma passes the buck. When it’s hard for the kids to do their chores or homework, she makes a habit of asking them “How can you make this fun?”  and then she trusts that the children have an inner wisdom and innate playful creative side and they can come up with an answer.

The new and improved Super Momma doesn’t go crazy cleaning up for guests.  She doesn’t want her guests to miss an opportunity to really get to know her.  She serves tea besides the laundry mess and says, “Tea? Towel?”

The new and improved Super Momma enjoys creating her and her family’s life by design rather than default and in finding ways to do that, she gravitates toward “simple and do-able.”

The new and improved Super Momma models ‘doing things differently’ proudly, knowing the ‘old ways of the 50’s to 2017’s caused overwhelmed, over-guilted, under –funned  mommas.

The new and improved Super Momma models imperfection proudly, knowing she is changing the world one small imperfection at a time.

By Janet L.Whitehead

Originally written for Kamloops Momma Feb 2012

Professional Life Coach, Master Creativity Coach, and clearly an advocate for Moms

When Did You Stop Thinking Creativity is an Innate Part of You?

When Did You Stop Thinking Creativity is an Innate Part of You?

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Sharing this short piece I wrote in 2014. The granddaughter mentioned does get to be creative in her school, but her perspective as a Grade Oner is valuable for all who spend time with children and for those of you who might wonder, “When did I stop thinking creativity was an innate part of me?”
 
Creativity.. here’s a couple sad statements

A quote from Robert Epstein, senior research psychologist at the American Institute for Behavioral Research and Technology, and contributing editor for Scientific American Mind:
 
“When children are very young, they all express creativity, but by the end of first grade, very few do. This is because of socialization. They learn in school to stay on task and to stop daydreaming and asking silly questions. As a result, the expression of new ideas is largely shut down. We end up leaving creative expression to the misfits – the people who can’t be socialized. It’s a tragedy.”
 
Quote from my six year old granddaughter yesterday upon returning to school after the Christmas Holidays: (She is half way through Grade One)
 
“Nana, my whole classroom was changed! It’s because we’re older now, so now we just have to work, write and sit all day. Just work and write all day!”
“You still get to play and make things, don’t you?”
“No, I think we just work all day now. Because we are older and some of the kids already turned 7.”
 
I don’t know what’s really going on in her class. She is in an arts-based school. But, it frightens me that this is her perspective. I hope today is different for her. I really don’t want either of these quotes to be true anymore.
The Dirty Kitchen – Imagination and New Perspectives

The Dirty Kitchen – Imagination and New Perspectives

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Came across this article I wrote a while back. It’s worthy of sharing again, I think!

I hope my grandchildren will always be able to imagine many perspectives of the same situation, that they learn not to be judgmental, and that they learn to consider many possibilities. Quite simply, I hope they remain the creative thinkers that they are born to be.  And I hope that one day my grandchild tells the story of “The Dirty Kitchen” revealing how her Nana is incredibly amazing and creative. I hope that the idea that her Nana might be a slob doesn’t even cross her mind. Storytelling is the key to this one and it goes a bit like this:

Once upon a time there was a very dirty kitchen. “Oh my!” the kitchen cried out as they watched their homeowner slip out the door balancing a baby shower cake, “she left us! We are the messiest dirtiest stickiest kitchen ever!”  

“We need help,” announced the pots and pans in a very tinny sort of voice.

They opened the window and the faeries flew in exclaiming, “We’ll help!” 

“Is our homeowner a slob?” asked the teeniest tiny of the sticky forks.

“No, no,” answered the faeries, “she’s been very busy with making things and with people and workshops and, topping it off, with making a fancy dancy baby shower cake.. well, she just hasn’t had time to clean you up.”

“I’m happy to be part of her fun and imagination and creative play!” admits the icing coated counter top. The rest of the kitchen, including the dirty dusty dog print covered floor, cheers.

And so the faeries with a wave of their wand fill the sink with soapy warm water. The gluey gooey pot leaps in and does a little jig that sounds like this: kaswish kaswoosh. The faeries rinse him off and magically dry him and plop he finds his place in the cupboard.   

The story does go on and on as each character in the kitchen gets swept, washed, or wiped with the grand finale that the homeowner comes home, with her little granddaughter in tow, to find a lovely clean kitchen.

Easy to guess how this story began.  Even I was a bit shocked when I looked at my kitchen as my granddaughter said, “oh, the kitchen is very dirty.”  Pretty bad when a 3 year old notices. I could have succumbed to feeling like an incompetent housekeeper, but the more valuable and truthful perspective was that I had in fact pulled off some wonderful things in just a couple of days. I admit I was partially inspired by not wanting her to tell everyone “My Nana has a very dirty kitchen” in the same way she told EVERYONE “My Nana smashed into Auntie’s car.”  I thought it would be better for my granddaughter to consider how the kitchen came to be so dirty and our storytelling adventure of “The Dirty Kitchen” evolved.  In creating the story together I’d asked my granddaughter “why was the homeowner soooo busy that she didn’t get to clean the kitchen?’   It was a joy to watch her think that through and name all the things her Nana does. The story inspired both of us to clean the kitchen and it has since become one of her favourite bedtime stories at Nana’s house.

Storytelling is a great way to introduce new perspectives that focus on ‘what’s right’ instead of ‘what’s wrong’, encourage imagination and of course, feel better about a dirty kitchen.  All you have to do is say “Once upon a time there was (include topic)” and whisper to your child, “what happens next?”

by Janet L Whitehead  –  copyright 2012, 2017
A true story of creative self-discovery in 3 minutes or less…

A true story of creative self-discovery in 3 minutes or less…

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A three part, minute or less each, activity for your novel mind!

Part 1: Without thinking too hard about it, name a character you love from a book or a movie.  (This was the first post of the day on Novel Minds on Facebook. People responded, then I added the second and third post. If you want to have a similar experience to those I’m sharing here, take a few seconds to answer each part, before going to the next)

Person 1  
One of my favorites…ET!

Person 2   
Atticus Finch

 

Part 2: What are the qualities of that character that makes that character one you love?

Person 1  

Ah, there are so many! His compassion, curiosity and willingness to discover things that are surely very different from his own home and world! Not only a botanist, but an explorer as well! I love everything about him!

 

Person 2  
He has integrity, leads by example, willing to stand alone for the right reasons, sticks up for the disenfranchised. Parents well.
Many reasons. Plus, in the movie he was played by Cary Grant… hello!
Part 3. Characters you love are mirrors of you. Read what you wrote about why you love that character and notice how much YOU are like that character. Any aha moments about this? Thanks for playing!!!
 
Person 1
Aha! We both love the “Super” Moon! This was really fun! And of course the timing was perfect!

 

Person 2

Wow. Wasn’t expecting that. I humbly own it though.
 ~ ~ ~ ~

I know… you likely didn’t get to try this right now as you read this. Even though you know the final part, you could still give it a try? Pretend you don’t know this is all about you!  I’d love to hear about your favourite character! (which, is also you, by the way!)

 

 

The Christmas Cross-Off List; Finding the Magic

The Christmas Cross-Off List; Finding the Magic

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Tis the Season to Audaciously Cross Things OFF the Way Too Long “To Do” List. It’s one sure way to notice the magical spirit of it all.

Step 1:  Take out the To Do List  (Open if the list is on your phone.)

Step 2:  Take a big breath and start crossing things off.

“I can’t do that!!” you might be thinking. Let me convince you: Your TO DO List is likely a key factor in you’re not getting to enjoy the season nearly as much as you could be.  The list is long. It’s overwhelming. It’s full of unrealistic expectations.  It’s in your thoughts so much that when you are doing something you enjoy, you’re thinking of the TO DO List.
So let’s turn that TO DO list into an “I GET TO DO” list.

Step 3: Across the top of the TO DO List, write: How can I make this simpler?  Heck, how can I make this fun?

Step 4:  Cross things off the list – pretend you are an editor who must trim a 500 word article to 50 words. Your house cleaning list will start to look like this:

TIPS for CROSS OFFS:

The Baking List:  Cross off all but 3 or 4 favourites.  Cross off everything that’s complicated to cook.  If tradition has you building a gingerbread house that gets thrown away at the end of the season, cross it off.  Will it still be Christmas without Russian Teacakes or fudge that you burn three times before it turns out right? Yes.

Kids’ Gift List:  Still trying to balance the number and value of gifts for your kids?  Stop. You know you love them equally. “Balancing” just costs you more and more money.  If the list is already way out of balance – so much so that one child will be sure you don’t love them at all – cross the extra gifts off the list. Put them away for a birthday or return them after Christmas.  A tip to simplify gift giving for kids: Give them one thing they think they want, one thing they need or that you know they would like, a book, and if you love board games or movies, add that.  This could be the year that you’ve decided to reduce ‘stuff’ to help the environment.  Your kids might.. maybe.. buy into that, especially if ‘experiences’ like movies or skiing become a part of the gift giving tradition.

Gift list that has you going to 12 different stores:  Pick a theme like ‘books’ and spend a relaxing afternoon in the book store choosing a special book, magazine or journal for in-laws, parents, siblings and friends.  Or pick a craft or baking project and spend creative time at home with a hot chocolate, fancy coffee, or mulled wine making gifts. Or buy them experiences like movie passes, gifted with some nice organic popcorn, perhaps.

Christmas Dinner:  Can you break tradition and make it simpler?  Premake side dishes?  Have others bring a side dish?

One year, most of my family was out of town, and just my two daughters and I were going to be having Christmas together. They told me not to plan dinner. They had a surprise, they said. Do you know how hard that was? What? No Turkey? No preplanning all that goes into Turkey dinner? The surprise was that they had planned to cook us a Persian dinner! I hadn’t had persian food since I’d lived in Iran when I was in my 20’s… it was such a thoughtful and delicious present.  And look, here I am talking about the Persian Christmas dinner and not about all the other 50+ turkey dinners. We survived (thrived) doing Christmas dinner differently. So can you.

Events:  What events on the list make you smile and what ones feel like pressure?  Try really really hard to cross off the pressure events.  They might be events you ‘should’ attend, but remember you are trying to reduce the overwhelm.  Once you are done with all of the cross off’s, you might actually have time to do the things you’d adore doing.  Your list might start to look like this:

  • More story times with the kids.
  • Read a book.
  • Write a story. Play with paints.
  • Sit by the fire and do nothing.
  • Go Tobogganing, snowshoeing, skiing.
  • Breath. Be present. Notice that there is actually magic at Christmas.

Notice how your TO DO list is turning into an I GET TO DO list? Feeling some relief? Now, in this more peaceful state;  watch for it, listen for it, feel it…there is magic….

 

 

 

I wrote a book! Celebrating one year of it being published!

I wrote a book! Celebrating one year of it being published!

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I wrote a book. The one that haunted me to be written for a long time. Celebrating it being out there for a year.  Phew. Yay. Oh, what a feeling!

And this is it:

An extraordinary story of grief, loss, creativity, imagination and, ultimately, magic. Janet’s memoir tells a strange tale. No wonder she passionately supports the creative thinker.

“…but the idea for a novel didn’t happen until she realized the most bizarre story she could share was her own. A life full of tragedy, sprinkled with profound discoveries, and even more full of magic, led her to finally write her first novel, Beyond All Imaginings.  It is the story of altering time and people who died and beings who introduced themselves as faeries… and this is a story of pottery…”

Beyond All Imaginings

Janet L Whitehead

Published 2016.

“… It’s about smashed fingers, smashed dreams, smashed faeries and the value of throwing up your arms and saying “whatever.” It’s about impossible things being possible and Rolling Stones playing on unplugged radios. It’s about walking through walls and it’s about faerie sex; a chapter that nearly stopped me in my writing tracks. This is the true story of my life: The tragic loss of loved ones and the heart-wrenching grief; the magic of faerie-like beings showing up in my clay, on my pages, and in my home – which they did very much to my dismay, at least at first. And now, the faeries insist on blowing themselves up. This is the story that blurs your boundaries between reality and fantasy and leaves you wishing you could find your way into my world, albeit without the tragedies. As you can imagine, this has not been a simple story to write. Hell, if it were fantasy it would have been easy… but this is my life.”

Beyond All Imaginings is available in print or kindle version here

Personally signed copies also available by contacting Janet    This is currently my favourite thing to do – signing and sending copies seems to be full of more inexplicable synchronicities than I could have even imagined!

Author’s Bio
As a child, Janet Whitehead knew that she would be a writer. Following that path, she has written and illustrated children’s books and short stories, published playful and empowering self- discovery workbooks, been a regular contributor to a parenting magazine, and specializes in the power of creativity and the written word in her coaching practise. But the idea for a novel didn’t happen until she realized the most bizarre story she could share was her own. A life full of tragedy, and even more full of magic, led her to finally write her first novel, ‘Beyond All Imaginings.’ Janet is currently working on her next creative memoir, ‘Clewless with a Touch of Salty’; the recent story of how Tall Ships – both real and imagined – saved her butt during another strange time in her life.

Beyond All Imaginings is available in print or kindle version here